Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
