Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
