Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
