I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
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