You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
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