the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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