Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
