We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
so that wasnt chicken after all
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
