rhymes with "ouble enetration"
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Randomize
