Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
