He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
