that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
