fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
