If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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