This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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