Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
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