my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
