We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I just googled if crying burns calories
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
