I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
home. puking in laundry basket.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
