Just fell off a train. Bad.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
