Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
