There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
