You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
This baby is an asshole
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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