I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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