I puked a lego.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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