Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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