Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
