You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Randomize
