It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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