i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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