I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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