He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
