Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
