Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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