Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
