just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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