After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
