he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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