Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
