bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
ok first of all what the fuck
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
