If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
She's just so happy...and so naked.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
