How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
