she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Randomize