so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Boobs are out for the taking
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize
