I think my vagina is haunted
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
