pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
