He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
