Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize