I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
