no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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