can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
