he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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