I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
My liver just had a heart attack.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize