your parents love me but you hate me
So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
ugly people sure do ruin things
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Crop dusting thru forever 21
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
