your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
My vagina is officially offended.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
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