i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
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