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new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
