My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Randomize
