So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
