Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
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