well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
time to smoke my breakfast
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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