he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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