My vagina just recognized that song.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
